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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28432968">Build- A- Bear</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lillipad760/pseuds/Lillipad760'>Lillipad760</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>15x18, Dean doesn't know what emotions are, Ficlet, I know I am ALSO disappointed, M/M, Mostly happy then really sad, a bit too late, but he's getting there, unfortunately canon adjacent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:14:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,038</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28432968</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lillipad760/pseuds/Lillipad760</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Cas go to the mall together and stop by Build A bear. The story then jumps to after 15X18 when Dean finds the bear.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Build- A- Bear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stimulus overload was a term Castiel had heard Humans use before, and one he tried to warn Jack about before taking him to the Mall. Knowing a term, however, and experiencing it are drastically different. Similar to things like “love” and “lust”. You think you know exactly how to avoid or accept it until you you actually experience it. That being said, Jack seemed to be getting a little over whelmed. Living in the bunker under Dean’s “no movement” law doesn’t leave the Nephilim very prepared for several hundred people within one air flow. </p><p>They went to several stores and picked out some things for the boys and Claire, flannels mostly, and tried some food court cuisine to satisfy Jack. Jack noticed to crinkles around Castiel’s eyes and wondered how many times he smiled before to get them. Or his vessel? Either way it was a cheerful yet exhausting experience. They were finally heading out to the car as four hours was more than enough for the pair. Dean practically begged Cas to take one of the cars from the garage (” I assure you they are all tuned up and you can’t keep riding around in that friggin pimp mobile”  “Alright Dean, but I will have to choose the beige one”) so it was a bit harder to spot in the crowded parking lot had they not memorized the space number. Unfortunately, Jack spotted a father and his son leaving a store on the other side from where they had shopped holding a giant teddy bear in a baseball uniform. The sign on the door said “BUILD-A-BEAR” and looked very fleshed out. </p><p>Jack placed his hand on Castiel’s elbow to alert is attention, “Um, Castiel, can I ask one more favor of you?” </p><p>Cas tilted his head to the side, “ Absolutely, Jack. You I’m always here to help guide and protect you” </p><p>The weight of Castiel’s hand on Jack’s shoulder was reassuring enough he almost felt ridiculous for hesitating so much, “May we please visit that BUILD-A-BEAR store? I feel that my other Teddy deserves a companion,” . Jack grinned up at Castiel, very pleased by the image of both his Teddy bears together when he was busy helping clean the bunker or organize their storage rooms. </p><p>Castiel, being thousands of years old, didn’t see any reason why another 40 minutes was unreasonable. He patted Jack on the back and began walking to the store with him. </p><p>Once inside they started to pick out their bear, Jack named his Deana, as he didn’t have a female presenting bear yet. Cas kept staring at this green flannel with blue stripes in the pattern, so Jack picked on of those for her top and dark blue jeans as Sam finds them comfortable. He wanted Deana to be comfortable...</p><p>While the Nephilim was distracted by clothing and stuffing his bear, Castiel noticed a voice box. It reminded him of the Empty and his looming debt to pay. He ask the attendant how to operate it and recorded a couple of phrases for Jack. Jack wasn’t sure how much stuffing would be enough, so Castiel helped him with that part. They were almost ready to head out when Cas placed the voice box into the bear. </p><p>“When you squeeze the bear right in the middle, you’ll be able to hear my voice, there are a few messages there for you whenever you miss me or need a reminder. I wish I could add a few words from your mother as well, but this bear will just be from me.” </p><p>In the car, Jack hugged the bear tentatively to try it, “You are a treasure to me” rang out. The smile that bloomed on him face was contagious and when Jack looked up to his adoptive father for his reaction, he squeezed the bear again until he had heard everything inside. After the last message of the rotation played, Jack felt a surge of joy and confidence. He felt cared for and protected. “I love you too, Castiel” he replied both to the bear and to his angel driving them home. </p><p>___________________________________________________________</p><p>Dean chucks the lamp against the dresser and tosses all the picture frames onto the floor of his room. He has lost Cas AGAIN and this time... FUCK. Dean feels tears burning at his eyes threatening to start falling again. He takes another swig from the discarded bottle on his bed. He’d throw this too if it didn’t numb the edges of the pain a little. He looks around ad the now dilapidated state of his room. It’s not enough. Rather than let the tears over take him and trace the dried lines from earlier, he shuffles his way down the hall to Jack’s room. A part of Dean always resented Jack for reminding him of the life he should have had with Cas. Could have had, he realizes. The anger and disappointment and grief well up again and he grabs the nearest Item and hurls it to the wall. He’s reaching for the next inanimate victim when he hears it. </p><p>“You are a treasure to me.” </p><p>The fight drains right out of him, he places the item back onto the bed and delicately scoops the bear up off the floor. He haphazardously flops his weight against the wall and squeezes the bear. “You have goodness inside you and I am so proud to know you and raise you”. He squeezes the bear again as he walks to his room, falling onto the right side of the bed. “ You will be a wonderful man some day, Jack”. And again, ignoring the surge of, what he would normally be ashamed to admit, of jealousy that these messages are for Jack alone. “You should never know what it feels like to be alone as long as I am alive.” One stray tear falls onto Dean’s pillow as he presses the voice box again. </p><p>“I love you”. </p><p>That same voice and those same words, Dean clutches the bear closer to him with his right arm and sweeps the bed with his left until it hits cold, unforgiving glass. He takes a long drink from the bottle and closes his eyes. </p><p>“I love you too, Cas”</p>
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